So some of you may have noticed that my first solo clarinet album, Distant Shores, has suddenly been making more of an appearance online again. To be honest, as many of you know, after my mum died I very much went into my shell creatively. I really struggled to express in many ways and my music suffered a lot. I took as much of my online presence down as possible, including all of my recordings and also my first website. I pretty much went into hibernation.
As time has passed, I have slowly started to see small breaks in the clouds and the glorious rays of music and creativity are starting to come back to me. When I was feeling so vulnerable, I couldn’t listen to myself and my recordings. I felt that they all sounded so horrible and I just couldn’t bare that people would agree with this too.
But I realised that, of course, all of my output is far from perfect from a technical, tick-the-box kind of way. However, I really did create everything with a huge amount to soul and desire to reach out and touch others. I think that nowadays we focus too much of the perfect-ness of things and it stops our souls from singing on so many occasions through fear of judgement. Think, if any of you have ever been to a kid’s concert, they for the most part perform far from perfectly but we look at them so fondly for the pureness in the souls and their desire to express, that we excuse every imperfection. I’m a kid too! Just in adult clothing….. We all are!! I’m still learning and striving to do better in every way but Distant Shores was a snap shot of my life in 2011 that I have decided to take back under my wing with loving acceptance.
It’s a tribute to my mum and every encouragement she gave me and sacrifice that she made for me.
I actually decided to put it back up just before I got married and made the release date my wedding day (1st October). I remastered everything myself this time and really found a sound that I am happy with. I might have played and recorded it 7 years ago but it is very much a product of my learning since that time and it’s re-release is my rebirth.
I really hope that you find some moments where my soul speaks to your soul.
Love always xxx